How to Introduce Yourself to a Lady Without Looking Like a Stalker

man and woman in white jogging

It can be a little unnerving when you want to approach a woman but you don’t want to creep her out. We’ve got the tips to help you do just that.

“I see the same woman on the bus every morning. We make eye contact and we even smiled at each other once… But that’s it. I’ve even changed my bus route and kept taking the local bus instead of the express so I have the chance to run into her again. I really want to talk to her, but I don’t know how. How do I approach with her without looking like a stalker?” — Morris D., Chicago, IL.

Let’s get this out of the way first—are you a stalker? If you are, keep on doing what you’re doing.

For the guy who isn’t a stalker and plans his morning commute just so he can run into someone he’s crushing on but wants to start talking to her, the next best thing to do is break the ice; and you can do that with a simple “Hello.” Watch her body language to see your next course of action. If she pulls her bag close to her or doesn’t look up from her phone, she probably isn’t interested; however, if she turns to you and makes eye contact while she says hello, this is your chance. Really wow her by saying something profound like, “My name is…” Hopefully, in turn, she will tell you her name and you can chat with her for a bit. Ask her some questions about herself that aren’t too forward and are pretty casual, like where she works or what she does for fun. If she chats along with you and the conversation flows easily.

It never hurts, to be honest with someone. So, if you are feeling bold enough, mention to her that you’ve noticed her on the bus and you’ve always wanted to talk to her but didn’t know how. Tell her now that you are talking to her, you wish you had done so earlier because it’s been an absolute delight. This should bring a smile (and maybe a blush) to her face.

This would be the perfect opportunity for you to take the initiative and ask her out for a cup of coffee after work. You can plan to meet up on this very bus at a particular time and then go somewhere to continue the conversation and maybe get to know one another more. If she agrees, simply ask for her phone number so you can call her and let her know you’re on the way to the bus later on.

The key to approaching someone on public transportation is to be confident. When you show the other person that you are confident and you know what you’re doing, they will more likely be receptive to your charms and will want to talk to you too. Also, always watch their body language. If they look like they are pulling away from you or closing themselves off, thank them for their time, apologize for bothering them, and excuse yourself. It can be nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t have to be.