You’re a classy woman who loves her independence. You’ve got a great career, you’re confident, you have all your ducks in a row if you will.
You feel like you’re unstoppable and you love that powerful feeling… Until you meet a man, fall head over heels, and you become your alter ego who is this clingy woman who needs attention from him 24/7. It is this very reason why you may not be in relationships for very long and you’re left wondering what happened to that strong woman that you used to be.
The Beginning
In the beginning, everything is going great. He approaches you like a gentleman (this is the first instance where you feel like your heart catches a little—gentlemen seem to be hard to find anymore), he asks you out on a date and he plans everything. You tell yourself that you are just going to see how things go; however when he continues to show that he isn’t a perv just trying to get in your pants, you think that maybe there could be something there.
The Realization
Over the next few weeks of pretty constant communication and several dates, he is winning you over. You’re starting to anticipate when he calls and you can’t wait to see him again. You, my dear, have fallen.
The Prevention
Now that you’ve officially fallen for the guy, you want to take a step back and take a moment to recognize that this is when that independent woman you’ve worked hard to become takes a vacation and that clingy girl takes up permanent residence in your brain. STOP!
Here’s how you can evict that class A clinger mindset and usher that independent lady back in.
• Slow things down. This guy could be the bees knees and sets your panties ablaze, but instead of moving too quickly, take a cold shower (figuratively… Maybe literally if need be) and take things slowly. Focus on getting to know one another and seeing how your lives can meld together. The longer you take with becoming intimate with one another, the more amazing it will be when it finally does happen.
• Continue your daily life. Okay, so you’ve met a man that you’re really attracted to and you’ve gone out on a few dates. That’s swell and all, but this doesn’t mean that you should drop the hobbies and friends you had before him. Continue going out with your friends, keep going to that pottery class. All in all, never lose sight of who you are just because you’re smitten.
It’s totally understandable that when a great guy comes along and you feel a connection with him that you’re going to want to spend your time with him. You’d be crazy not to. But one thing that a lot of women may struggle with is trying to keep their lives very much in the foreground, as well. It may not be a conscious decision to stop girls night because your man is off that particular evening, but by letting him fill up every free moment of your life? That’s not good for either of you.